The loss of someone will always be with you. You learn to deal with it eventually, but the grief comes up at the most unexpected times even years later. It may be while you are riding in a car and a song comes on that makes you remember that person. Or when you are watching a sad movie. You can experience the “ugly cry”, which is when you are crying so much your eyes get puffy and nose gets red. At least that is what happens to me. And it is not pretty.
Today is five years since Don passed and sometimes it doesn’t seem like it has been that long. At others times it seems like it has been forever since I felt his warm hugs or look into his eyes and see them smile. It is weird when someone who is that close to you dies. We had been together for 25 years, which at the time of his passing, I had spent more years with him than without him. It feels like you have died along with them. You don’t know if you are going to make it and get through the horrible pain and tremendous grief. But you do. Somehow you find, or are given the strength to get through.
Life will never be the same. That loss is forever with you and sadness will pop up and you need to let yourself feel the pain. I am not that you can’t have joy again. Joy slowly comes back. But it is not the same and it will never will be. You now know that anything can happen at anytime. The person you said goodbye to this morning may not come home tonight. And if you only knew what would happen, how different would those last morning moments be? I believe they would be moments of hugs, love, gratitude, compassion, looking into their eyes, holding their hands and sharing everything you want to say.
“But I always that thought I’d see you again.” by James Taylor
I would say to Don that morning “I love you more than words can say. You are a wonderful husband and father but more importantly, a kind, compassionate and loving human being. You always let me be myself and never tried to change me. I love you for that and so much more. Your heart is big and you always help others. Your life made a huge difference in so many lives. I just want you to know that your life mattered to me and to others. Thank you for sharing your love, wisdom and kindness. You taught me so much and you are a role model for so many. The world is a better place because you are in it. Thank you for picking me to share your life. It is an honor to walk with you in this journey. It has been an amazing life because I got to share it with you. With all my love forever and always.”
“I love you every day. And now I will miss you every day.” – Mitch Albom, For One More Day
Don’t wait until an event like that happens. Take time to share how you feel with the ones you love everyday. Let them know how much they mean to you and that they enriched your life in so many ways. Let them know that their life mattered and was important. Because you may not know when their, or your, last day may be.
“I would be nothing without you.
Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
You’re everything I wish I could be.
I could flyer higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings.”
by Bette Midler