Have you ever arrived at the end of a conversation with someone and realized you did most the talking? I know I have. I remember a salesmanship class I took during college, the professor said to be a success in sales you have two ears and one mouth – use them in that proportion. Good advice for every day encounters too!
In sales, if you are trying to sell something and you do most of the talking, only the benefits of your product gets stated instead of really listening to what the buyer needs. Or you do so much of the talking that you literally talk yourself out of the sale. The only way the buyer is going to purchase is if you fill a need.
The same goes for most any conversation. When you are doing all the talking, what the other person hears is you, you, you. And after awhile, they may get tired of hearing about you. Toby Keith has a song “I Wanna Talk About Me” is about someone who is always talking of their life and problems, and he says “Occasionally, I wanna talk about me.” By truly listening, you make the other person feel that they are important.
Have you ever thought a person was done talking because they took a pause and you started talking? I have and all I did was interrupt them. My husband used to say this about me “Take a breath and she will jump right in.” This act makes the other person feel insignificant and that their story is less important than your own. My daughter has taught me to do better and I thank her for that lesson. When you jump in, you are making presumptions based on what they partly said or you thought they implied. This is just partial listening because you did not receive their full story.
“We all want to be heard, and more importantly, understood.” – Lynn Lok-Payne
When we talk too much or make presumptions, we miss our opportunity to receive Divine messages. I believe Source and our angels sometimes use other people to help communicate information we need to hear. Maybe we would receive it better if it came from someone else or we did not pay attention to the signs they were sending us. Most messages are usually simple ones, like you need to change your car’s oil and then you have a conversation with someone who starts talking about their oil change or you receive a coupon or see a billboard for one. Coincidence?
Sometimes there may be messages we do not want to hear or we disagree with. In those incidences, be open to other perspectives because maybe we can learn from this information to move forward. I believe we only receive messages to help us so start paying attention to the signs. And listen to the message, and not the messenger, because it may come from an unexpected source. If so, there is definitely a lesson to learn!
Let’s practice The Art of Listening by being an active participant and paying attention to what others have to say. Looking someone in the eye as you are talking to them helps you to concentrate on what is being said. Be interested in the communication and the message instead of thinking of your response. There may be some information in the conversation meant just for you.
Remember the success formula – two ears and one mouth – use in that proportion.