Let’s talk about practicing self-care. And no, I don’t mean bubble baths, spa days, or face masks—though those are great too. I’m talking about the type of self-care that’s deeper, more intentional, and often harder to prioritize. The kind that’s less about indulgence and more about sustenance—caring for yourself in a way that allows you to thrive, not just survive.

Self-care has become a buzzword, and somewhere along the way, its meaning got diluted. But at its core, self-care is about one simple truth: You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re constantly giving—to your job, your family, your friends, or your to-do list—without taking time to refill your own cup, burnout isn’t just likely; it’s inevitable.

So, how do we move self-care from the “optional” column to the “non-negotiable” one?

The Misconception About Self-Care

When you hear “self-care,” what comes to mind? For a lot of people, it’s something that feels extra—a luxury you’ll get to once everything else is done. But here’s the catch: the “everything else” is never done. I’ve found this out the hard way and became exhausted. There will always be another deadline, another email, another errand. If you keep waiting for the perfect moment to prioritize yourself, it’ll never come. You have to schedule the time like any other important appointment.

The reality? Self-care isn’t a reward, it’s a requirement. It’s not about escaping your life and responsibilities. It’s about equipping yourself to handle them better.

My Self-Care Wake-Up Call

Recently, I hit a wall. Between work deadlines, social commitments, and trying to be everything to everyone, I was running on fumes. I told myself I was “just busy” and that I’d rest “later.” But then “later” turned into being overwhelmed and stressed. I realized that if I didn’t start taking care of myself, I wouldn’t have anything left to give. So, I started making small but intentional changes, and it’s making a difference.

How to Practice Self-Care and Make It Non-Negotiable

Here’s the good news: self-care doesn’t have to be complicated, time-consuming, or expensive. It’s about finding what works for you and committing to it. Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Set Boundaries Like a Pro

Learning to say “no” is one of the most powerful forms of self-care. Whether it’s declining an extra project at work or opting out of a social event that feels more draining than fulfilling, setting boundaries protects your energy. If it’s not an overwhelming yes, then it probably is a no. Also remember that “No” is a complete sentence. No explanation needed.

2. Schedule “Me Time” and Stick to It

Treat self-care like an appointment you can’t cancel. Block out time in your calendar for activities that recharge you, whether it’s reading, going for a walk in nature, or simply sitting in silence with your favorite cup of tea. Do what feels good.

3. Focus on Self-Care Basics

You don’t need a 10-step morning routine to practice self-care (unless you want one). Begin with the basics, like prioritizing sleep, eating well, exercising, hydrating, doing an activity that makes you happy, and some tech-free time. These are the foundations of self-care.

4. Do What Feeds Your Soul

Self-care doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. For you, it might be journaling, gardening, dancing in your living room, or calling a friend who always makes you laugh. Find what fills your cup and make time for it. Try to do at least one small thing each day that brings you joy.

5. Unplug Regularly

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is to disconnect. Turn off notifications, step away from screens, and give yourself permission to be present. My notifications are turned off at 8 pm and morning. The last thing I want to see if twenty texts right before bed. It’s not conducive to good sleep. Trust me, the world will still be there when you get back.

6. Sleep Routine

Sticking to a regular sleep schedule helps you sleep better. Every night, I wind down by reading and sipping herbal tea, at least an hour before lights out. It helps to relax my mind. Journaling helps clear my head, reducing the mental chatter that keeps me awake. Another mental wellness tip for me is to keep a gratitude journal. It highlights the many good things in my life and helps me unwind. My gratitude journal is simple and easy to use; consider giving it a try. https://amzn.to/3Wz0Bf4

7. Silence the Distractions

I find the whooshing sound of my phone distracting, even if I don’t look at it. To focus on work, meditation, or personal time, I silence my phone and notifications. And I limit my email checking to specific times. I’ve noticed a real improvement in my focus because of it.

The Ripple Effect of Practicing Self-Care

When you make self-care a priority, something amazing happens: you start showing up as the best version of yourself. You have more energy, more patience, and more resilience to handle life’s ups and downs. And here’s the kicker—the people around you benefit, too. When you’re taking care of yourself, you’re more patient and  better equipped to take care of others.

One of my favorite analogies is the airplane oxygen mask: place your own mask on before helping others. Why? Because you can’t help anyone if you’re gasping for air. And when you are doing too much and anxious, you don’t breathe properly and that can affect your stress levels and body. Self-care is your oxygen mask. Don’t wait until you’re running on empty to prioritize it.

Final Thoughts On Self-Care

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. It’s about recognizing that you matter—not just as a worker, a parent, a partner, or a friend, but as a human being who deserves care and compassion.

So, no more waiting for the “right time” to take care of yourself. Start small, be consistent, and remember that self-care isn’t a one-time act—it’s a lifelong practice. Because when you thrive, everything else in your life has the chance to thrive, too.

Now, take a deep breath and release. What one small act of self-care can do today? Whatever it is, start there. You deserve me-time.

Need more inspiration, check out this self-love article: https://lynnlokpayne.com/how-to-love-yourself-the-journey-starts-within/