When was the last time you truly put yourself first? And no, I’m not talking about a rushed coffee break in between meetings or a quick scroll through your phone while pretending to relax. I mean self-care—intentionally carving out time for yourself—time that isn’t about anyone else’s needs, expectations, or demands.

If your answer is, “I can’t even remember,” you’re not alone. I’m right there with you. But here’s the thing: self-care isn’t a luxury. It’s not something you earn after hitting all your deadlines or taking care of everyone around you. It’s a necessity. A non-negotiable. And the sooner we start treating it that way, the better we’ll feel—not just in our bodies, but in every aspect of our lives.

The Self-Care Myth

Let’s address the elephant in the room: self-care has a bit of a PR problem. For years, it’s been marketed as extravagant spa days, expensive skincare routines, or lavish vacations. And while those things are lovely (who doesn’t love a good massage?), they’re not the essence of self-care.

At its core, self-care is about sustainability. It’s about ensuring you’re not running on empty while trying to navigate the demands of daily life. Think of it like maintaining a car: if you never stop to refuel, check the oil, or rotate the tires, it’s only a matter of time before you break down.

My “Aha Moment”

I’ll admit it: I used to wear busyness as a badge of honor. If I wasn’t juggling a million things at once and working endless hours on end, I felt like I was failing. But then came sickness and burnout—the kind that sneaks up on you, leaving you exhausted, irritable, and questioning why everything feels so hard.

One day, I read: “When was the last time you did something just for you?” I didn’t have an answer. That realization hit me like a ton of bricks. How had I gone so long neglecting myself, thinking it wouldn’t catch up to me?

That’s when I decided things needed to change. Not overnight, and not in some grand, sweeping way. Just small, intentional steps to prioritize my well-being.

The “Non-Negotiable” Approach to Self-Care

So, how do we shift self-care from being something we’ll get to “later” into a daily, non-negotiable practice? Here are a few ideas:

1. Set Boundaries That Stick

One of the most powerful forms of self-care is learning to say “no.” Whether it’s declining extra work, opting out of plans that don’t excite you, or stepping back from toxic relationships, boundaries protect your energy. Remember, saying “no” to something else often means saying “yes” to yourself.

2. Make Rest a Priority

Sleep isn’t a reward; it’s a biological necessity. Yet, so many of us treat it like an afterthought. Try setting a consistent bedtime and turning off screens an hour before sleep, Create a calming nighttime routine, such as taking a bath, applying lotion, and getting into your jammies.

My routine is disconnecting from my computer and phone. It’s a must for me if I don’t want to get stressed. Then, I pick up a good book with a cup of chamomile tea and read in my pjs. It really tells my body that it’s time to relax. And no peeking at a screen. In fact, I turn off notifications so I don’t get tempted. Trust me, the world looks a lot brighter after a good night’s rest.

3. Find Your “Recharge Rituals”

Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all. For some, it’s a morning jog; for others, it’s journaling, meditating, walking, or dancing to your favorite playlist. Experiment with different activities until you find what truly replenishes your energy.

4. Celebrate Small Wins

We’re often so focused on big goals that we forget to celebrate the small victories along the way. Finished a tough project? Take a moment to acknowledge it. Got through a challenging week? Treat yourself to something that brings you joy. Self-care is about recognizing and honoring your efforts, no matter how small.

5. Unplug and Reconnect

In a world that’s constantly buzzing with notifications, taking time to disconnect is more important than ever. Turn off your phone, step away from screens, and reconnect with the present moment—whether that’s through nature, a good book, or meaningful conversation.

The Ripple Effect of Self-Care

Here’s the magical thing about self-care: it’s not just about you. When you take care of yourself, you show up as a better version of yourself for the people around you. You’re more patient, more present, and more capable of handling life’s curveballs. I know I am. It’s like the oxygen mask rule on airplanes—you have to secure your own mask before helping others.

By making self-care a non-negotiable, you’re not being selfish. You’re ensuring that you have the energy, resilience, and capacity to live the life you deserve—and to support the people you care about in the process.

To Sum It Up!

Self-care isn’t about perfection; it’s about intention. It’s about recognizing that you matter, not just as a worker, a parent, a partner, or a friend, but as a person. Someone who deserves rest, joy, and compassion—both from others and from yourself.

So, let’s make a pact: no more waiting for the “perfect” moment to start prioritizing yourself. Start small. Be consistent. And remember, self-care isn’t a luxury. It’s a lifeline.

Now, take a deep breath. What’s one thing you can do for yourself today? Whatever it is, start there. You’re worth it.

Self-love start here…https://lynnlokpayne.com/how-to-love-yourself-the-journey-starts-within/

For more tips, check out this blog from verywellmind at: https://www.verywellmind.com/self-care-strategies-overall-stress-reduction-3144729