Conversations run through the mind all day. Some of them are neutral. Some are helpful. But many are repetitive and negative thoughts.
According to the National Science Foundation, we have between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. However, roughly 80% are negative, and 95% are repetitive. 1 This mental loop shapes how we see ourselves and the world.
Let that sink in.
Most of what we think isn’t new — it’s a replay, a loop. It’s like a television show that just keeps repeating.
And if that loop is negative, it becomes a trap.
This is a cyclical cycle. Our beliefs fuel our thoughts, and our thoughts reinforce our beliefs. Therefore, the more we repeat them, the more truth we assign to them, and these become our beliefs. And this is what influences our actions and behaviors. If we constantly say, “I can’t,” we’ll stop trying. And that belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, which determines our reality.
But here’s the good news: with awareness, we can break that cycle.
Here are five steps to help shift negative self-talk:
1. Notice Your Inner Voice
Is it helpful or hurtful? Is it moving you forward—or holding you back? First, we have to name it to tame it.
2. Tune Into How Negative Thoughts Make You Feel
Feelings aren’t always facts and may not be based on reality. Also, just because you feel like something bad will happen doesn’t mean it will. Most of the time, it doesn’t.
3. Change Your Lens
You may not be able to change the situation, but you can change how you view it. Instead of concentrating on the negative, look for the lesson or opportunity in the moment.
4. Reframe Your Negative Thought
You can “flip the script” to create more beneficial thoughts. I want you to know just because you have a thought doesn’t make it true.
- “I can’t” → “How can I?”
- “I’m afraid it won’t work” → “It hasn’t worked yet.”
- “I’m stuck” → “I have options and the power to act.”
5. Use Affirmations to Set the Tone For Your Day
They may feel awkward at first—but stick with them. Say them out loud, smile, and believe in the possibility of their truth. In addition, when you really feel its truth, manifesting will soon become easier.
Finally, you won’t eliminate every negative thought because our brains are wired to spot danger. The goal is just to lessen them and their impact on our lives. However, with awareness, you can choose which thoughts get the microphone.
But you can lower the volume.
You can decide which thoughts get your attention and which ones don’t. Rewrite the script and negative thoughts that have been playing on loop for years.
You are the narrator of your story and you can create a more empowering narrative. Above all, speak wisely by using words that are kind and compassionate. Speak with intention by reframing words that don’t serve you.
Finally, you are the CEO of your mind, and you get to choose which thoughts take the lead. So, start leading with intention—and make your words work for you, not against you.
For more information on improving your self-talk, see: https://lynnlokpayne.com/8-steps-to-improve-negative-self-talk/
